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There is good news and some negative news when someone wants to start saving a marriage after infidelity.
Does it matter how bad a relationship is, if you want it bad enough it can be fixed.
If forgiveness is done during affair recovery and both husband and wife are fully committed to making it work, things can get better after the affair.
Both parties have to understand and accept that this will take time and work, and that they need to be fully mature in accepting some of their shortcomings.
Keep in mind as you read that A Course in Miracles teaches, “Healing is a sign that you want to be whole. And that desire opens your ears to the voice of the Holy Spirit, whose message is wholeness.”
If you are both in that place and you really want affair recovery to be positive then you have an excellent chance of making it work.
Have heavy issues in the way?
The problem with saving a marriage after infidelity is that if the issues are too many and/or you are both unwilling to work and find healing options, the chances of repairing the relationship after infidelity become slim.
– It’s not impossible at this point, but it would be that much harder.
The first step would be to take an honest assessment of where you and your partner are from time to time and where you are actually headed.
If both of you are right minded and mature enough to handle the worries and stick with it for the long run, then do something serious soul searching and determine.
You will need to give a lot of thought to ‘whether you should be seeking help and healing, perhaps through marital therapy or some form of relationship counseling.’
If so, – go to the next step.
If not, ask yourself why you want to save the marriage after infidelity. Often times it happens that there is no hope of mending a broken relationship.
If you want to start building trust after infidelity without your spouse’s help, it can be all too easy to fall into the trap of being a door mat.
I mean if the spouse thinks the hurt is too hard to handle, they won’t work to heal the relationship with you.
It’s almost certain that whatever hard work you’re trying to rebuild trust after infidelity, they may aim to sabotage in the same way.
what are the problems?
In a prior discussion I Explore Infidelity in Marriage and Surviving an Affair: Is Leaving the Relationship the Answer, or Should You Stay?
The next step would be to figure out what other problems and issues the two of you are dealing with, and what exactly steps should be taken to save the marriage after infidelity.
– Does it seem like the two of you have strayed too far?
– Do you have kids now and find it more difficult to really connect with each other?
When you recognize what your issues really are, you have a better chance of handling them effectively and staying married after infidelity.
Don’t let life and all its stress and anxiety try to come between you.
It’s usually not a real problem, anyway, and it works well as an excuse for bad habits.
– Determine the real problems and then collaborate on help to avoid infidelity.
Often finding someone to assist with the treatment, and instruct and guide you, to help you sort it out, can be a miracle.
Finding a marital therapist or counselor can help.
If nothing else, a therapist can act as a referee of sorts, so the two of you don’t get too upset and start arguing out of control and saying things you’ll regret later.
– If the fight continues, – nothing will work.
– You can’t fix anything until you figure out what’s really broken.
There is no difference between a broken relationship and a worn out transmission on your automobile, where I mean, you can’t repair and rebuild your relationship after cheating if you don’t recognize what the problem is.
Sometimes there just isn’t enough willingness and readiness to rebuild trust after infidelity to lend enough reason to save a relationship.
You can’t even begin to save a marriage after infidelity if you don’t actually diagnose the problem.
(I also suggest searching the web for more helpful content on the idea of getting back with your ex and surefire ways to rekindle a relationship, if you’re feeling it in your heart.)
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