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According to a survey, 92 percent of cheating men said that they cheat because of emotional disconnection. People may think that men cheat because of sex but what they do not realize is that sex, being a medium of emotional transmission in physical expression, is as important to men as affection is to women.
Men are also emotional creatures. The problem is that society has portrayed them in a way that they don’t look like. Society plays a heavy role in defining men. Think about it, a huge misconception the media puts on men is that they become “macho” when they have more than just one woman. Almost to the point where it implies that the more women a man can have, the more powerful he becomes—or that men have a biological right to cheat primarily because of gender.
They don’t have to worry about getting pregnant or checking in with their monthly OB-GYN visits. The media portrays them as alpha dogs and that women are just unnecessary sex objects. We are misled into believing that men are these lustful, animalistic gods who have no sense of self control, remorse and conscience to know right and wrong when it comes to sex.
This misconception is confusing and can basically lead us astray from the truth. Men are just as emotional as women, but they tend to displace their emotions in different, socially acceptable ways.
1. Appreciation– Most men who cheat feel that their partners are not appreciating them. With daily worries like bills, kids and chores, couples shy away from appreciating each other. The other woman often makes the man feel better- makes him feel different, appreciated and admired. Men look strong, powerful and capable. But on the inside, they are insecure just like everyone else. They are looking for someone who can make them feel valued.
Men have a winning mentality. Just imagine how men watch their favorite sports teams on television. He likes to win. As long as they’re in the game, even until the end, they’ll be watching. Once the blow hits and they know their team can’t win, the television shuts off. Now they may not have been nice people to be with, but if you want your relationship to last, make them feel like they’re winning with the things they do for you. It doesn’t matter how small it is, appreciation will keep your man from seeing the affair.
2. Presence vs Attention88 percent of men surveyed in a study said that other women were no better looking than their wives or girlfriends. This just goes to prove that there are other things aside from physicality that can motivate a man to cheat. Meditation is one of them. Most men cheat because their wives or girlfriends stop paying attention to them. They keep a very strong hold on it and if they don’t find it in your house or apartment, they come to find it elsewhere.
The other woman makes him feel safe. They feel like they can be themselves. They can talk more, express more and have a listening ear always available when they need to share their stories. They wonder how anyone can take so much interest in their work, their childhood, their plans, and their dreams. And the men paid a high price for it!
Anyone, no matter how you look, can compliment, open up and give you that extra little pump and hang on your every word. So instead of spending more time in office why not spend some quality time listening to your partner.
3. Power, A common mistake of working women is when they rub men in their faces to make them feel that they have more income. This can make the man feel criticized and less appreciated again. making them lose their sense of power in a relationship.
According to Sherry Argov, in the book “Why Men Marry Bitches”, “power is as addictive to men as romance is addictive to women”. Once they feel vulnerable men will try to regain lost power by cheating with a woman who, you guessed it, usually works as a waitress at TGI Fridays!
So be extra careful about how you appear to your partner when you have a high-powered career. Although men may appear helpful and proud, they have a certain semblance of insecurity when it comes to providing food on the table or paying for dinner. This is not to say that the woman should feel sorry for being more successful than him, or that she should quit her job or ask for a demotion just to stroke his ego.
When you talk about your job, your paycheck, your FICO score, your investments or your purchases, it’s all about how tactfully and sensitively you handle yourself. Modesty is the important thing here. Don’t criticize his job or even his income. Make sure you let her know that you are supporting her, not competing against her.
4. Passion, Most couples stop going on dates when the honeymoon phase is over. Married 4 years and it’s all about microwavable TV dinners and talking about bills. Spice has been replaced by monotony. So, every now and then you should go out to your favorite restaurant, go to the movies (don’t rent DVDs) and watch a movie that you both enjoy.
Activities, outside of the routine of being at home, are the things that get the juices flowing in a relationship. Many couples stop dating after marriage or after a long time, then the woman wonders why the man has eloped with another woman.
This is because men, in general, like fun and outgoing women. They like a woman who laughs more and knows how to have a good time. Men are like kids and if you’re not going to be a fun playmate, they’ll find the next girl next door to play with. If you are so haughty then chances are he will resent you for it. A man needs to be constantly stimulated to keep his attention. Otherwise, he’ll take it upon himself and feel unloved and unappreciated. He wants to know that you can still be entertained by his company, that he can still make you laugh and be interested in his character.
Don’t put off humor because you’re already busy with important priorities. Build entertainment into your budget and schedule. Make sex more interesting by buying a new pair of sexy lingerie. use in bed. The key here is that you need to cover all aspects of your life together so that he is only interested in you.
This isn’t to say that you should be a doormat and become his own personal entertainer, like a courtier juggles for the king all day long. Its sole purpose is to keep the fire burning, the engines running, and the steam flowing. Remember, men are just as emotional as women.
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