Associates Say the Darndest Things, 2025: Penguins, Ghosts, and Yankees Edition
In the latest installment of The American Lawyer’s annual Midlevel Associates Survey, over 3,000 third-, fourth-, and fifth-year associates from Big Law firms across the U.S. shared their unfiltered—and often hilarious—thoughts on everything from work-life balance to firm culture. Released on September 9, 2025, this year’s edition, titled “Associates Say the Darndest Things,” highlights the quirky, the candid, and the downright absurd responses that emerged from the survey’s open-ended questions. With themes spanning professional aspirations, office pet peeves, and random musings, the results reveal a mix of exhaustion, humor, and unexpected tangents like penguins invading the legal world, ghostly encounters in empty offices, and fervent Yankees fandom amid late-night billable hours.
The survey, now in its fifth year, asked associates what they’d change about their firms, how they’d describe their daily grind, and even “what’s the weirdest thing that’s happened at your office?” The responses, anonymized but preserved in their raw form, showcase the creative ways midlevels cope with the high-stakes environment of Big Law. As one respondent quipped, “If lawyering were a sport, we’d all be penguins—sliding around in tuxedos, looking sharp but mostly just waddling through the ice.” Shenanigans, indeed.
Penguins: The Unsung Heroes (or Villains?) of Big Law
One standout theme was the bizarre prevalence of penguin references, which associates used metaphorically to describe their profession. Penguins emerged as symbols of the legal grind: elegant on the surface (think tailored suits and polished briefs) but scrambling beneath (endless revisions and client demands). A third-year at a New York firm wrote, “Associates are like penguins in Antarctica—huddling together for warmth during 80-hour weeks, but one wrong flipper and you’re fish food.” Another from Chicago imagined a penguin takeover: “With their well-fitted suits and natural agility in avoiding opponents’ attacks, penguins might just be the largest threat the legal industry has ever faced. Imagine the billing: ‘Penguin v. Partner’—I’d watch that deposition.”
The penguin motif even inspired hypothetical firm policies. A fifth-year in Los Angeles suggested, “Replace summer associates with penguins—they’re cheaper, don’t complain about comp, and they look great in headshots.” Survey editors noted over 150 penguin-related quips, far outpacing previous years’ animal analogies (sharks in 2023, anyone?). Some tied it to work culture: “We’re all just emperor penguins marching to the beat of the timekeeper’s drum—majestic, but ultimately at the mercy of the ice floe (read: unpredictable caseloads).”
Ghosts: Haunting the Halls of Empty Offices
The post-pandemic hybrid work era has left many Big Law offices feeling like ghost towns, and associates didn’t hold back on the supernatural vibes. Responses painted eerie pictures of deserted floors and spectral encounters, often as metaphors for isolation or forgotten tasks. A fourth-year in Boston shared, “My office is haunted by the ghosts of pre-COVID billables—whispers of ‘one more draft’ echoing down empty hallways at midnight.” Another from Dallas recounted a “real” ghost story: “Last week, I stayed late and swear I saw the ghost of a former partner reviewing my memo. He just shook his head and vanished. Probably critiquing my citations.”
Humor turned darker with complaints about “ghosting” partners who assign work then disappear. “Partners treat associates like ghosts—assign a task, then act like you don’t exist until the deadline,” lamented one respondent. A San Francisco midlevel added a twist: “If offices are haunted, it’s by the ghosts of work-life balance. I once heard rattling chains; turned out it was just my coffee mug falling off a stack of unread emails.” The survey tallied nearly 200 ghostly references, reflecting broader burnout: 68% of respondents reported feeling “invisible” in hybrid setups, up from 52% in 2024.
Yankees: Baseball Fever in the Billable Hour Bleachers
For associates in New York firms (and beyond), the New York Yankees’ 2025 playoff push provided a welcome distraction—and a surprising survey motif. With the Yanks entering September atop the AL East after a hot streak (11 wins in 14 games as of early September), fans vented about sneaking MLB streams during depositions or drawing parallels between pinstripes and power suits. A third-year at a Manhattan Am Law 100 firm confessed, “I’d tell my managing partner: ‘Let’s manage like the Yankees—strategic trades (read: lateral hires), no drama, and always clutch in extras (overtime). But seriously, can we get Yankees tickets as a retention bonus?'”
The baseball bleed was vivid: “Associates are like Yankees relievers—pitching in high-pressure spots, but one bad inning (client call) and you’re out.” A Houston associate, a self-proclaimed Bronx bomber, joked, “My firm is the Yankees of Big Law: storied history, high expectations, but cursed with injury-prone stars (partners on sabbatical). Aaron Judge is my spirit animal—home runs or strikeouts, no in-between.” Even non-fans chimed in; one DC midlevel wrote, “Yankees fans in the office are the ghosts—haunting us with their optimism while we’re buried in discovery.” The Yankees nods numbered around 120, correlating with the team’s surge: 75% of New York respondents cited sports as a “mental health lifeline” amid 60+ hour weeks.
Broader Insights: Levity Amid the Grind
Beyond the themed whimsy, the survey uncovered serious undercurrents. Associates praised firms for mental health days (85% satisfaction rate, up 12% from 2024) but slammed inconsistent mentorship (only 42% felt supported). On work hours, one gem: “Billables are like penguins—cute in theory, but they multiply and freeze you out.” Overall, 72% of respondents said humor helps them cope, with 55% recommending “associate happy hours” featuring penguin-themed cocktails or Yankees watch parties.
The full report, published by Law.com’s The American Lawyer, includes charts, rankings, and more quotes—proving once again that while Big Law can be brutal, its midlevels have a knack for keeping spirits (ghostly or otherwise) high. As the 2025-26 legal season ramps up, expect these darndest things to inspire watercooler chats—and maybe a firm mascot or two.