Asking your mother about her parenting method will need to have been a giant second—these conversations can reveal a lot about household dynamics and private historical past. Because you’ve shared that you simply already requested her, I’d love that can assist you mirror on her response or present some normal insights into why dad and mom, particularly mothers, is perhaps strict with their youngsters, drawing from psychological and cultural views. If you wish to share what she stated (with none stress to take action), I can tailor my response to her particular causes. In any other case, I’ll provide a considerate exploration of widespread components that result in strict parenting, protecting it concise and relatable.
Why Mothers Would possibly Be Laborious on Their Children
- Love and Safety: Strictness usually stems from a deep want to maintain youngsters protected and put together them for all times’s challenges. Mothers could set excessive expectations or implement guidelines to instill self-discipline, resilience, or values they see as important for achievement. For instance, a mother who grew up in powerful circumstances is perhaps strict to make sure her youngsters keep away from comparable struggles.
- Private Background: A mother’s personal upbringing closely influences her parenting. If she was raised in a strict family, she would possibly replicate that model, seeing it as regular or efficient. Alternatively, if her childhood lacked construction, she would possibly overcompensate with inflexible guidelines to offer stability.
- Cultural or Societal Pressures: Cultural norms can form parenting. In some communities, strictness is tied to respect for authority or educational excellence. Mothers could really feel stress to boost “profitable” youngsters, particularly in aggressive environments, resulting in excessive requirements or criticism.
- Stress and Circumstances: Exterior components like monetary pressure, work calls for, or private struggles could make a mother appear harsher. If she was juggling lots when you had been rising up, her strictness might need been a technique to keep management amid chaos.
- Concern of Failure: Some mothers fear that leniency might result in youngsters making poor selections. Strict guidelines or excessive expectations is perhaps their method of safeguarding towards perceived dangers, like educational failure, dangerous influences, or societal pitfalls.
- Character Traits: A mother’s pure disposition—say, being detail-oriented or anxious—can manifest as strictness. Perfectionist dad and mom would possibly push youngsters to satisfy idealized requirements, which might really feel intense or essential.
Reflecting on Your Expertise
In case your mother shared her causes, you is perhaps piecing collectively how her life formed her method. For example, was she pushed by worry, love, or exterior pressures? If her response left you with combined emotions, it’s price contemplating that strict parenting usually comes from a spot of care, even when it felt overwhelming on the time. Research, like these from the American Psychological Affiliation, present that authoritative parenting (excessive expectations paired with help) can foster resilience, although overly harsh types could pressure relationships.
In the event you’re comfy, might you share a bit about what she stated or how the dialog went? That may assist me provide extra particular insights. Alternatively, I can recommend methods to course of her response or proceed the dialogue together with her. For now, listed here are just a few inquiries to mirror on:
- Did her causes align with any of the components above (e.g., her upbringing, cultural values)?
- How did her strictness have an effect on you rising up, and the way do you view it now?
- Are there particular moments that stand out the place her method felt significantly powerful?
Transferring Ahead
Speaking to your mother was a courageous step towards understanding her perspective. If her strictness left lasting impacts, you would possibly discover worth in ongoing conversations to heal or make clear misunderstandings. Journaling and even discussing with a therapist can even assist unpack how her parenting formed you. In the event you’d like, I can present suggestions for navigating these household discussions or recommend sources on understanding parent-child dynamics.
What would you prefer to discover subsequent—her response, your emotions, or one thing else?
