The Four Profiles of Men on the Run: Recognizing and Releasing the Chase
By Elena Vasquez, Lifestyle Correspondent
September 8, 2025
MILAN, Italy – In the complex world of modern dating, some men seem to slip through your fingers like sand, leaving women wondering why they’re always chasing shadows. Italian relationship expert Alfio Martini, in a recent column for Corriere della Sera, identifies four archetypes of men who are perpetually “on the run”—emotionally unavailable, commitment-averse, or simply not ready for a genuine connection. Recognizing these profiles, Martini argues, is the first step to stopping the exhausting pursuit and reclaiming your emotional energy. “If you see them for who they are, you won’t avoid them entirely, but you’ll know better than to chase,” he writes. Here’s a breakdown of these elusive types, their behaviors, and the impact of letting go, offering insights for anyone navigating love in 2025.
The Four Profiles of Men on the Run
1. The Eternal Bachelor
The Eternal Bachelor thrives on freedom and resists any tether to commitment. Aged typically between 30 and 45, he’s charming, often successful, and loves the thrill of new romances but balks at exclusivity. Martini describes him as “the man who promises the moon during dinner but vanishes by dessert.” He might shower you with attention—late-night texts, lavish dates—but when talks of the future arise, he deflects with humor or vague plans.
Signs to Spot: He’s perpetually “busy” with work or hobbies, keeps relationships surface-level, and avoids meeting your friends or family. Social media posts on X often highlight his type, with one user joking, “He planned a weekend getaway but ghosted when I mentioned meeting my mom.”
Why He Runs: Fear of losing independence or unresolved personal insecurities. Psychologist Dr. Laura Bellini, quoted in Vogue Italia, notes, “Eternal Bachelors often equate commitment with loss of self, rooted in past experiences or cultural pressures glorifying singledom.”
2. The Wounded Wanderer
This man carries emotional baggage from past relationships, making him wary of new ones. He’s often introspective, sharing stories of heartbreak or betrayal, which draw you in with empathy. However, his unresolved pain keeps him at arm’s length. Martini warns, “He’ll let you close enough to feel special but never enough to build something real.”
Signs to Spot: He talks nostalgically about an ex, hesitates to define the relationship, and oscillates between affection and distance. A recent X post captured this: “He said he’s not over his ex but wants to ‘see where this goes.’ Spoiler: nowhere.”
Why He Runs: Unhealed trauma or fear of repeating past hurts. Dr. Bellini suggests, “He needs time and often professional support to process his past, which you can’t fix for him.”
3. The Digital Dreamer
The Digital Dreamer lives for the dopamine hit of online interactions—swiping, texting, and flirting across apps like Tinder or Bumble—but struggles to translate virtual sparks into real-world connections. Martini calls him “a poet of pixels, but a ghost in person.” He’s engaging in DMs, sending witty memes or heartfelt messages, but plans to meet fizzle out.
Signs to Spot: Inconsistent communication, canceled dates with flimsy excuses, or a profile that’s always active on dating apps. X users frequently vent about this type, with one stating, “He’s all heart emojis online, but can’t commit to coffee.”
Why He Runs: Commitment to the fantasy of love without the vulnerability of reality. “The digital world offers safety and control,” says tech sociologist Marco Rossi. “He avoids the messiness of actual intimacy.”
4. The Ambiguous Adventurer
This man craves novelty and sees relationships as part of a broader quest for experience. He’s exciting, spontaneous, and draws you into his whirlwind of travel or unconventional hobbies, but his focus is on the journey, not the destination. Martini notes, “He’s in love with life, not necessarily with you.”
Signs to Spot: He prioritizes solo adventures or group activities over one-on-one time, and his future plans rarely include you. An X post summed it up: “He invited me hiking but said he’s ‘not ready to settle down’ at 38.”
Why He Runs: A need for constant stimulation or fear that commitment will stifle his freedom. Bellini explains, “He’s often chasing an idealized version of life, leaving partners feeling like accessories.”
The Emotional Toll and Why It Matters
Chasing these men can lead to self-doubt, frustration, and wasted time, as women invest energy in relationships that never materialize. A 2024 study by the University of Milan found that 68% of women aged 25–40 reported emotional exhaustion from pursuing emotionally unavailable partners. In the US, similar trends emerge, with dating app fatigue rising—Hinge reported a 20% increase in users seeking “intentional dating” in 2025.
Martini’s advice resonates globally: recognizing these profiles empowers women to set boundaries. “You can’t change them, but you can choose not to chase,” he writes. This aligns with broader cultural shifts, as seen in Nigeria’s banking complaints where transparency is demanded, reflecting a universal call for clarity in relationships too.
Next Steps: Stop Chasing, Start Choosing
Rather than avoiding these men entirely, Martini urges awareness. “See them for who they are, not who you hope they’ll become,” he says. Practical steps include:
- Set Clear Expectations: Communicate your desire for commitment early.
- Trust Actions Over Words: Look for consistency in behavior, not promises.
- Prioritize Self-Worth: Engage in hobbies or therapy to build confidence, reducing the urge to chase.
- Use Community Support: Platforms like X offer spaces to share experiences, with hashtags like #DatingRedFlags trending in 2025.
Dr. Bellini adds, “Redirect that energy toward men who show up fully. They’re out there.” For American readers, this advice mirrors self-help trends like The Anxious Generation, emphasizing emotional resilience in modern romance.
Conclusion
The Eternal Bachelor, Wounded Wanderer, Digital Dreamer, and Ambiguous Adventurer may cross your path, but recognizing their patterns can save you from the chase. By understanding why they run, women can reclaim their power, focusing on relationships that offer mutual growth. In a world of fleeting connections, Martini’s insights remind us: love thrives not in pursuit, but in presence.
Sources: Corriere della Sera, Vogue Italia, University of Milan, Hinge 2025 Dating Report, X posts