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“I need a shark” is what I often hear from clients who think that the way to win in a child custody case or divorce is to hire the nastiest, meanest, most rude and aggressive attorney. They want to make the other person’s life a nightmare. There are times when it is appropriate to be a shark.
“I just want out” is a frequent comment from the men I represent. By the time a man arrives at a lawyer’s office, he usually has already made up his mind to get divorced and is willing to give anything, just to be free. big mistake. huge. He is willing to give up a lot for his peace of mind.
“I’ve moved out, and now I’ll settle for 50/50 custody of the kids.” yes not so much, Unless your ex is a traveling saleswoman, you are not going to get a court to give you 50% custody when she leaves the house. Another statement I hear a lot is, “He is not a suitable parent, and I want full custody.” If he is truly dangerous, you should not have released him, but turned him over to a child protective agency, or sought a restraining order for your safety and the children’s.
Those are the three scenarios I encounter most often and they describe the different roles I play as a lawyer.
Shark
Sometimes I’m a shark and I have to be extremely aggressive and tough. I had the case where the ex-wife I knew had remarried, but denied it so she could continue collecting alimony. We hired a private investigator and kept digging until we found the evidence we needed to stop paying her alimony. We spent thousands of dollars but saved over a million.
guard
At other times I have to be my client’s protector against his will. I have to fight him to make sure he doesn’t give up too much to find peace. Men do not give importance to money and possessions, they are usually of the mindset that they will just go and earn more money and buy new things. But there’s no reason they should give up more than half in a divorce, and it’s often my job to make sure they don’t.
voice of reality
Fathers want to be an active participant in their children’s lives. But they do not realize that they must fight hard to ensure that their rights are respected and upheld, not by the mother, but by the court. Before making any drastic changes to the family law situation, men need to know what their options are, and what their legal rights and obligations are. The biggest mistake most men make is to act first, consult later. When they do, I get to be the voice of reality that explains to them why they’ve already lost a battle they didn’t even know they were fighting.
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